


Bill Tries Babysitting

by Evil_Panda_Roar



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Babysitting, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-28 08:34:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13900290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evil_Panda_Roar/pseuds/Evil_Panda_Roar
Summary: Bill, the Pines slave, is forced to watch over the young Pines twins after an accident turns them into toddlers.





	Bill Tries Babysitting

“Bill, you’re going to be watching Mabel and Dipper until I get back, understood?” Ford said sternly as he and Stan were about to leave. The yellow triangle known as Bill could say nothing in return. After the failed attempt to take over their dimension Ford thought it would be punishment enough to force him into servitude for as long as the Pines family lived. So he was forced to do as Ford told him, and it was kinda his fault that the twins are now back to toddlers. In all honesty it was a mistake and Ford shouldn’t have left something like that lying about anyways, but now Ford had to find a way to get them back to the way they were before. At first he tried ordering Bill to fix it, but it was beyond him to bring them back to the right age. Aging wasn’t something Bill cared about much as time doesn’t apply to him.

“And don’t set this place on fire like last time.” Stan glared at the triangle who happened to be hovering in the middle of the room with a blank look. He really hated the Pines, but there’s nothing he can do about it. With Ford’s spell he was unable to hurt any of them, intentionally. The door closed with the finality of a prison door. 

“At least now I don’t have to deal with your smart comments all the time Pine Tree.” Bill hovered over Dipper who looked up at him with fascination as he sat on the floor. When Bill began to move, it seemed as though Dipper had forgotten that he doesn’t need to move his whole body when he follows something with his eyes. That gave Bill an idea. He quickly moved right over Dipper’s head and the toddler followed. Falling over and landing with a thump on his back with a giggle. “That wasn’t the reaction I was hoping for.” Bill said in a hushed voice. As he glanced back at the room he noticed something missing. The other twin. 

He searched all of the first floor, but couldn’t find her. Where could she have wandered off too. All the doors are closed and locked, she couldn’t have made it outside. Bill doubted she would have been able to make it all the way up the stairs without falling, and he would have noticed if she was in trouble. With the link now formed between him and the Pines family he could always tell if one of them was in trouble and he would be forced to help to the full extent of his abilities. Though most times he would rather let them fall to their demise in a darkened cave or be ripped apart by the next creature they decided to poke with a stick. The only place left he hadn’t checked would be, the kitchen cabinets? Sure enough he found Mabel in the cabinet filled with the cereal, eating lucky charms. Stan and Ford had only been gone twenty minutes and he was already finding it hard to keep track of the toddlers. Bill took a second to debate whether or not he should just let her keep eating, that would be a way to know where she is, but she sure is making a mess with it. 

“Come on Star.” Bill stretched his arms out and picked her up. He carried her to the living room where Dipper was still rolling on the floor. Setting the second twin next to him, Bill snapped his fingers and a child playpen appeared. Then he set the two toddlers inside. 

“Ba ba baba.”

“Bababaa.” The two twins spoke in their own language of noises. Bill didn’t pay much attention. Wishing he could ignore them completely.

“And here I always complained about the older meatsacks.” The triangle spoke as the babble continued. Abruptly, the babble stopped and crying started. Mabel had scratched her brother’s eye as she moved to turn. How she had messed up that badly was a mystery to Bill. The sudden sound of her brother crying scared Mabel into crying as well. 

“No no no no no no no no no no! Quit with the crying would you?!” Bill complained. “I knew you couldn’t take a hit Pine Tree, but seriously?” The crying continued to get worse as Bill didn’t know what to do. What would make them stop? Threatening or violence wouldn’t work, but those are the only way Bill knows how to handle things Finally, Bill came up with an idea. With a snap of his fingers, a stuffed animal appeared before Mabel and a block puzzle in front of Dipper. “That should keep you two quiet.” Seconds later Dipper was putting the puzzle pieces in his mouth. “You creatures are so stupid. How do you manage to be the most intelligent species on this planet?” With a thought the pieces grew big enough there is no chance of being a choking hazard. “Talk about oral fixation.” Bill commented and rolled his eye as both of the twins were chewing on their new toys. 

He got a couple minutes of relaxation in after giving the twins their toys; that is, until the clever twins came up with another way to make his job harder. With the twins taken care of Bill took the time to raid the Shack for anything that looked interesting to him. This is one of the freedoms he still has. Nothing against stealing from them and dumping the stuff into the bottomless pit, yet. As Bill was about to leave the Shack he spotted the twins trying to climb out of the playpen. 

“Get back in there.” He sighed and laid them both on their backs inside the pen. For safety he formed living blankets to hold them down until he got back. It would only take a couple moments. However, their crying didn’t wait that long. Just before Bill made it out the door the twins started wailing. It seem that they don’t like being held down. Bill sighed as he made the blankets disappear. As long as he doesn’t take long they will be fine, Bill reasoned to himself.

He returned after throwing away all of the items he could find that wouldn’t be obviously missing to find an empty playpen. It wasn’t as if he wasn’t expecting it, but he couldn’t help but be all the more enraged. Why does he even have to do this? In his fit he took a seat on Ford’s favorite chair and started reading his notebook; that he was dumb enough to leave sitting out. If anything happens to the kids Bill will be the first to know, so why worry before they’re in immediate danger.

The minutes ticked by, no noises were heard, and worst of all, Bill couldn’t feel the kids anymore. He knows they are still inside, but the fact that the feeling is so dim there is only one place they could have wandered off to. The most dangerous place in here. The lab. 

“Ford, get back here soon.” Bill murmured to himself before floating off to save the little Pines. 

At the entrance of the lab, Bill found a miniscule amount of blood. One of the toddlers must have scraped their knee trying to push the door open. How is that even possible? They are far to small for that, and stupid. The door is even a hassle for Stan to open, maybe he is just that weak?

“Star? Pine Tree? I’ve got to take care of that scrape before Ford gets back.” He floated down the stairs. Listening for any sound that might point him in the right direction. Once he entered the first room, after floating through the security doors; he was not going to wait for them to open. The loud clunking noises of the motion detecting doors opening behind him didn’t bother him. What did bother him was what he saw. Pine Tree playing in a pink puddle, non-lethal, but it is going to take a lot of work to make him look less like a pink smurf. The more horrifying thing was Star, chewing on a test tube, nearly dumping its contents into her mouth. It became apparent to him at first glance that she’s the one that got the scrape on her knee. If he had hair this is a scene that would cause him to rip it out. 

Pine Tree started wailing as Bill lifted the puddle above his head and dropped it down the drain. Then gave him an impromptu shower. Getting rid of as much of the pink as possible without giving Dipper a new layer of skin.. At the sound of her brother, Star joined in. At least she dropped the test tube. Its contents burning a hole into the ground. If Bill was human he would have probably fainted from stress at this point. He was that close to dealing with the end of his existence. 

He floated over, picking up Mabel. With a quick tap to the knee the small scrape she had gotten disappeared. He set her back down to check on her brother. Both are as good as Stan and Ford had left them. 

“You two are coming with me.” Bill hissed. Snapping his fingers, making the twins disappear with a poof. They’ll be waiting for him upstairs. In a playpen, with a magical bubble around it. No matter how hard they cried there’s no way he is letting them out. It has barely been over an hour since Ford left and he didn’t feel like dealing with situations like this the entire time. He did say to watch them, not keep them happy. 

Minutes trailed by as the twins slowly cried themselves to sleep. Bill impatiently floated back and forth, waiting for a sign of one of the older twins. Just when he thought the kids were going to shut up and fall asleep Pine Tree started crying again. 

“Shut up Dipper.” Bill hissed, surprisingly the toddler listened. Shutting up and gawking at him as though he realized that name coming from him only meant trouble. Of course, just as that interaction happened the older Pines decided to grace them with their presence. Earning Bill a scolding. 

“Do not speak to children like that.” Ford chidded. 

“Do you have the stuff to fix them?” Bill answered impatiently.

“No, it looks like the only thing that can fix them is time. As far as I was able to look into it, they should start quickly aging back to the correct ages in a couple hours. Considering it has already been over an hour it shouldn’t be long now.” Time? Time? Bill wanted to flip this house with all his will. Why must he be constrained by such a primitive concept as time? 

“Hey, where’s my hat?” Stan commented, looking around the Shack. Nearly going to the point of tearing apart the couch. 

“Bill?” Ford scolded.

“I’ll get it.” He answered immediately. Snapping his fingers and causing the playpen holding the toddlers vanish. “They’re you problem now.” He commented and floated out of the Shack in a hurry. Humans and their offspring, Bill doesn’t think he can take it much longer. He’d rather find out where the bottomless pit leads; which is his objective at this point.

**Author's Note:**

> I've decided that I'd like to take suggestions for one-shots if anyone is interested. I will write about any fandom (That I know about) and almost all ships. This is basically my way of procrastinating on my longer fanfics and original stories. I'm scared of continuity errors in the longer stories, making me reread 20 pages worth of a story just to make sure I don't mess up. So I just want short things right now, until I'm ready to fill in pages of notes on everything I need to keep in mind as I continue writing.


End file.
